A Confession …delayed!
July 4, 2013 by Kay Grossman

If it looks like procrastination and walks like procrastination, is it necessarily procrastination? You might note, for example, that I posted my last article for this Web site in December, 2012.

Well, that’s a discussion for another time. Possibly soon. Okay, soonish.

For now, I share with you a poem I wrote due to special circumstances.

Setting: Kay sitting at her desk in her office.

Kay’s intention: To write an outline for a presentation on procrastination. Third, possibly fourth attempt.

Kay’s reality: She had never procrastinated on anything more in her life.

Be assured that the extreme irony is not lost on me!

As many experienced procrastinators know, at the point of procrastination anything other than the task at hand seems much more exciting and doable. Hence, the creation of this poem. Of course, I rationalized my behavior by telling myself that it was on the intended topic.

If you enjoy the poem, or identify with Self One and Self Two, please email me to share your thoughts… if you can get around to it, that is.

The Curious Tale of Self One and Self Two

By Kay Grossman

The day is too short.
There is so much to do!
Self One has to call on
Her old friend, Self Two.

Self Two is so capable,
Eager and smart,
Self Two, she is certain
Will certainly start

The tasks Self One dreads,
Resists, and demurs
While Self One gives attention
To things she prefers.

Self Two is the strong one,
The bold take-charge champ.
You can count on Self Two.
She’s no do-nothing tramp!

Self Two can take action
And get the job done.
So today Self One
Can simply have fun.

Tomorrow will come.
The day will be new.
Self One knows Self Two will
Know just what to do!

But Self Two owns a secret
Sinister and deep,
A closely held confidence
She swore me to keep.

It turns out Self Two
Is not Self Two at all.
She’s a phantom, a specter
Who casts a dark pall

Over innocent people
Who never would guess
Self Two would betray them,
Demean them, oppress.

Self Two holds the promise
Of work done with ease.
“I’ll do it tomorrow,
For I aim to please.”

But she is a traitor,
A time thief, a cad,
A charming deceiver
Who makes you feel bad.

“But there’s more,” Self Two
Whispered into my ear.
“My one special talent
You might truly fear.

It’s my favorite trick,
My far greatest feat…
I gather your memories
And click on ‘Delete.'”

So day after day
Self One calls on Self Two
Never recalling
She never comes through.

“It’s how I hold power.
I’m needed, I’m strong.
Who cares if Self One
Is forever wrong!”

OK, I thought
I know just what to do.
I’ll spread the word!
You won’t win this, Self Two!

But my email is dinging,
The Web’s calling my name.
There’s a sparkly new task,
New ideas, a game…

Those tax forms won’t rot.
My big project will keep…
Tomorrow Self Two
Will do it all in her sleep!

© Kay Grossman 2011

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